Soccer! Catch The Fever...Or The Next Episode

I'm experiencing something new - watching the World Cup of Soccer in Europe. As an American I've often heard how I "don't understand" the most popular sport in the world. Yet, I think I do. American sports enthusiasts appreciate nearly all competitive athletic endeavors with a few exceptions such as men's gymnastics. I say this only because if these guys are going to work that hard to keep their tiny, muscly bodies in tremendous shape they should put that effort towards a sport that they might actually like (no offense to my huge gymnastics readership, really). There's not much hockey being played in soccer.

The difficulty in fully appreciating the event, and soccer in general, is the eerie, underlying soap opera screenplay. After consulting with a couple of my European friends about the amount of injury embellishment used by the players, I have been assured that it is used "all the time man". I have a problem with that. There seems to be a lack of dignity involved. Having watched six of the first nine games I still can't get used to guys dropping as if they had been shot in the chest with a Ruger when someone brushes their shoulder or collapsing like they've had a knee tendon severed with a hatchet when someone whispers in their ear. I'm used to seeing unsportsmanlike conduct penalties when injuries are faked. It's not that I don't think that they get injured from time to time, after all, this is nearly a sport. The aim of this point of view is best encapsulated by the fact that most injuries occur as a result of kicks to the shins, padded shins. Meanwhile, my sports heroes lose seven teeth and miss only three game minutes (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IfJx1L71DUU&feature=related).

I suppose I could even look past the 'art of the dive' and the slow motion shots of grown men grimacing and writhing terribly in the pain due to their non-existent pain, after all, they are looking for a competitive advantage like all athletes.

I often hear about the passion of the players and fans. Perhaps there is something to that or perhaps the passion is misplaced. I guess my problems with the sport are petty and base because of I'm uncomfortable when the men who compete are wearing socks that are longer than their pants (it's a better look for roller girls) or when the sweaty combatants exchange their game worn shirts after the match. Besides the apparel, I was under the impression that going by one name was reserved for eccentric, female, pop-music stars like Cher, Madonna, and Bono, yet soccer stars like Ronaldino and Kaka seem to be pretty cool with it. I guess I really don't get it, that's not the kind of passion I understand. I think most men, most women who like a man's man, and maybe even men who like men who they think are women are with me on this one.

Maybe I have misunderstood the different factions. I mean, some fans sing club songs in unison whilst joining hands while another group of the same fans throw urine bombs at opposing fan bases. It should be noted that I'm not disrespecting soccer, I'm simply making fun of those who play it.

C'mon

Can we please stop it with the couches in bars and restaurants? I mean c'mon!

Istanbul!, Not Constantinople

Went to Istanbul last weekend. Took a sleepless bus ride from Varna, Bulgaria to Istanbul. The road was barely a road. It was more of a perpetual wash-out. Imagine a beautiful, new charter bus wobbling from side to side on a dirt/gravel road that was just wide enough for the bus. There were 10-15 minute periods where we ranged between 5-15 mph. A lot of the terrain was forest and we occasionally had to confront a car coming from the opposite direction, which took some planning to get by. We, the passengers, were a collection of half-conscious bobbleheads dozing in and out. The trip there took 8.5 hrs and the way back was 10.5. Once we hit the Turkish border, and after showing passports 4 different times, to different people, the road got better.

For some reason (obvious that we had no idea where to begin) we were given special treatment in getting to our final destination, the Aziyade Hotel. Upon our arrival at the bus depot, we were taken to the middle of Istanbul and dropped off near a metro stop. The driver, who spoke no English, told me, who speaks no Turkish, something in Turkish and held up two fingers. So we took the tram two stops away and got off. An hour and a half later we found our hotel. However, it was 6 am and we couldn't check in until 1pm. Going more than 24 hours without sleep is uncomfortable. It's more uncomfortable when your on an unfamiliar continent in a country that practices a religion that might see a guy like me as "one of them".

Beyond the travel annoyances, it was a good trip. I would recommend it to anyone. I found the Turks to be very accommodating and friendly. The amount of commerce happening at all hours all over the city is truly impressive. From the Grand Bazaar to the fresh fish sandwich stands on the Bosphorus, there are sales being bargained continually.

The food was what one would expect; lot's of spices used with rice and meat. I kind of expected to have better street food experiences. The kebab I had was dry and wanting of flavor. The sights and sounds also turned out to be fairly well aligned with a foreigner's perceptions. The calls to prayer were a little eery at first but I got used to it. The mosques were grand but a little mosqie for my taste. We ate at a great cafe on the patio, and when I say patio I mean on the street with cars whizzing by. The cafe had over 4,000 lights. Thanks for reading, see pictures and video below.

Arizona is Exactly Like Nazi Germany

I usually try to make a point to not get too heavy with my blogging. It's not fun. However, the twos or even maybe threes of people who read this blog may be wondering in which direction I am walking regarding the new Arizona state law regarding immigration. I wanted to try something new so instead of expending effort by forming sentences and paragraphs and editing, I am simply posting my unedited, initial thoughts on this matter. Call me lazy if you will.......but.....Sirs and Madams....... I will not expend the effort defending myself against your criticism.

-500,000 illegals in AZ.
-how is it not a federal crime, how is it just now becoming a state crime
-how is this an outrage
-"how dare someone be asked to prove they are here legally"
-what is the argument?
-Nazi comparisons are hilarious- Nick DiPaolo said, 'I don't think the Jews were sneaking into Red Germany'
-Americans have the right to demand this
-how is it okay to argue for people that are here illegally to be sheltered from the atrocity of being asked to show ID?
-If you haven't done anything wrong, you have nothing to worry about
-How many lives can be saved - drug cartels and violence
-The truth about the good/bad of illegal immigration reform will come in answering this question. Will the states surrounding AZ be better or worse off when the 500,000 present and millions of future Illegals flood their states?

-the word is Illegals........Illegals

-Americans have certain rights in America......the key word is Americans

-Our Prez is questioning the Constitutionality of what Arizona has done even though it aligns with Fed law, while he made sure to stop the investigations into the legitimacy of states legalizing marijuana for medicinal use, which does not align with Fed law

Bowling For Bulgaria

I've been trying to get a feel for the city of Varna, Bulgaria. What is traditional, coastal Bulgarian? What is the cuisine? What is typical Bulgaria all about? I haven't found the answers. I don't know if there are any definitive answers. Not sure if the reader cares. I ask people I meet what the quintessential Bulgarian dish is. There doesn't seem to be a sure answer. Some have told me there really isn't one.

Some of the more popular places here seem to be the upscale bowling alley near our apartment and an Irish pub, not particularly strong examples of nationalism, but that's fine. This city seems to have embraced capitalism and westernization which can dilute national tradition, sometimes in a good way. Some countries have clear identities and some don't. Perhaps the case at hand has something to do with previous generations' preoccupation with the importance of getting by without concerning themselves with maintaining cultural traditions.

The afore-mentioned Irish pub is interesting. They have a live band nearly every night. The band that we have been listening to recently plays classic rock hits from the 60's and 70's. It's like listening to my Dad's record collection. Good stuff. It is a nice change from the music we hear in the stores and restaurants which amounts to a cacophony, yes a cacophony (word of the day toilet paper), of yuck. If you put all of the bad music of the 90's in a pot and boiled it, this would be the layer of scum scraped off the top. I have learned, first hand, that American music is ubiquitous.

Oh, forgot to address the title. We went bowling.

The White Out Returns

You might be asking yourself, "Self, why have I chosen to read a blog with such a racially provocative and offensive title?". Tell your self to relax. While we all love a good race war, I am speaking, of course, about my beloved Phoenix Coyotes of the NHL. The Coyotes are set to face off against the hated Detroit Red Wings, or the Red Army as I refer to them. The 'ov' lines (Federov, Konstantinov, Koslov, etc) of recent years are not as prevalent now as they were in the 90's but this Detroit team may be just as dangerous.

Phoenix is the 4th seed in the West. Coach of the year shoe-in Dave Tippett has his Coyotes playing with confidence. The Yotes have had success against the winged-wheels this year. They won the season series in an array of different ways. Phoenix defeated Detroit by scoring early and often as well as winning in come-from-behind fashion in what was rated the 3rd best comeback of the year by the NHL Network by coming from three goals back at the "Joe".

The Phoenix message boards are full of opinions. The locals are primed for action. I, myself, have purchased the ESPN Europe NHL package which allows me to watch all playoff games for the next 31 days for about $19. What a price! I would encourage all readers to get in touch with a hacker buddy to obtain a foreign IP address because this price is a fraction of what US citizens pay. I don't get it and I don't have the time to figure it out. I have been just buried in paperwork.

The "White Out" goes down on April 14,2010 at 10:00 pm Eastern time. You can be sure I will be up at 5 am Communist time on the 15th to watch.

Editorial Comment: My ambulance-chasing, conniving, lawyer friend lent me the thoughts about the relationship between the term "white out" and the hilarious racial implications and the play on words that exists between the two. How dare he or she.

Happiness Only Money Can Buy

Happiness only money can buy....what a pompus title. The fact is, anybody in my position would feel the same way, but that's my position. - That's supposed to be funny, not thoughtful. Coming from Paris to one of the nicer areas of a coastal city in a "developing country" and living near the beach makes me appreciate price differences.

After a long, weird trip from Paris to Varna by way of Sofia (7 hrs) in a smoke-filled cab, I've felt a great deal of comfort in this city. I tell my wife, from time to time, that there is a "honeymoon period" that one experiences when moving somewhere new. One moves somewhere because he likes something or some things about a city or has a reason to go there. After awhile, the exciting or appealing things about the city usually mellow a bit and one can make a better estimation. I'll let you know.

For the time being, Varna suits me just fine. It is a laid-back beach town with laid-back beach people. As much as I'd like to view myself as a black tie, wine-sipping, Paris type, at heart I'm really more of a West-Coast guy in American terms. However I'm in the Eastern Hemisphere and I'm an East-Coast guy here, but it means the same thing. I realize I have already made some comparisons but the two cities are actually incomparable. Ancient, world-renowned city with unmistakable identity versus post-communist, democratic republic struggling upward. I'm comparing again, aren't I? Well why don't you get off my back.

Check in soon for a report about how the water pressure here causes inadvertent, internal cleansing and lower birth rates in poor countries........ win-win.

From A to backwards R

Heading to Bulgaria soon. For those of you who don't know, it is a long, technical, boring story. It's basically a case of more developed European countries telling us we can stay longer but it has to be "over there". Bulgaria seems to be the little engine that might. It is part of the EU but not yet part of the Schengen Zone because the money that other European countries sent for infrastructure was used on infrastructure.......and sick vacation homes for government officials. What's the problem!?!

The city that we are going to start out in seems quite pleasant. Varna is a tourist destination for Western Europeans and sits on the West bank of the Black Sea. Tourism is the major industry so I think it is going to be like a European version of Cozumel, Mexico. The visitors might be middle class back-home but in Bulgaria they are rich. I have already made a down-payment to a guy named Laszlo to wait in a bread line for me. What can I say, I live large.

Also, I think I have counted 3 different, active, usable versions of the Latin alphabet letter "B". One of them just represents a gurgling sound. The number eight is pronounced, "awesome", not kidding about that one. For those of you who may be concerned, don't be. Bulgaria is a safe country.....really.

USA vs Canada.....from Paris

I was at a place called, "The Moose", in Paris for the incredible showdown between the Americans and the Canadians in the gold medal Olympic Men's hockey game. What more could a fan, or a patriot, of either team or country ask for? If you missed the game, do yourself a favor and find a way to watch the replay. I think the USA coach, Ron Wilson, said it best. Wilson described the game as 'played the right way'.

The style of play, combined with the teams involved, made for the most watched hockey game on the planet since the 1980 "Miracle" game when the USA defeated the USSR. The game has already been referred to as 'the greatest international game ever played'. It is hard to disagree. Every check had a purpose, there was no back-checking for the sake of not being called out, nothing was done without anticipation of a meaningful result. This made for a unique environment inside "The Moose".

This place was around 70% Canadian, 30% American, with a few Frenchmen mixed in. People were draped in flags. It was quite literally wall-to-wall humanity. Continual U-S-A chants were rebutted with CA-NA-DA chants. Camera shots of Vince Vaughn in a USA hockey jersey blew the roof off the place as much as shots of William Shatner did. A few of the canucks started a, "we-have-health-care" chant. I think this summarizes the intensity of the atmosphere. We were booing and cheering each others' celebrities and public policies.

When UND alumn Zach Parise scored with 24 seconds left to tie the game at 2 goals apiece it was even louder than when UND alumn Jonathan Toews opened the scoring for the Canadians. A bunch of us went outside after regulation ended so we could stretch our legs further than a few inches. I noticed that my voice, which was fine for the first 59:30 of the game, had faded. I also noticed that the other Americans had the same symptom. For all the nationalism it was quite civil. I think North Americans feel a common bond when put together on a different continent.

Why a Strong US Dollar Stinks

I thought I would address the ups and downs of the strength of the US Dollar as the US Dollar has achieved more ups than downs recently. A strong US Dollar is generally thought to be a good thing but it depends on who has livelihood at stake. The primary reason for the increase in the value of the US Dollar is the increased demand for the dollar. Trading, on a huge scale, happens every day throughout the world. Basically, investors (I use this term loosely to describe consumers and firms) would currently rather hold US currency than other currencies because of its relative stability.

The US dollar has, for quite some time, been the defacto world currency reserve. However, recently, the explosive events happening in Europe have offset the dubious attitude surrounding the huge national budget deficits of the US as well as the Chinese takeover of US debt.

The problem lies within exporting. Quite simply, when the dollar is strong it makes exporting more expensive for US companies. Why? Foreign countries have to pay a higher amount in US dollars to import US goods. This means lower demand for US products. What is the flip side? You guessed it; cheaper foreign products for Americans and less demand in the US for more expensive domestic goods. The US is almost never the cheaper producer of goods, which hurts our GDP when the dollar is strong.

The opposite argument has its own, similarly weighted facts and conclusions, but I wanted to get the less-known argument out there. Those of you in agricultural and fossil fuel states might be interested.

Let's Make Duck the New Chicken

When was the last time you had duck? When was the last time you had chicken? Why is chicken so much more prevalent than duck? I'm pretty sure it's because chickens are easy to raise. Chickens are poor fliers while ducks can swim and fly. Duck is far tastier than chicken. It is savory and oily and does not require anything extra to make it taste good. Chicken is somewhat bland and is best when fried or accompanied by a sauce.

I propose we band together to create a new breed of duck which doesn't fly and can't swim. Who is with me?

Power Play

A couple of weeks ago I was walking my dog from the River Seine back to our apartment down a road called, "Rue Royale". Rue Royale starts at the Place de la Concorde at the bank of the Seine, passes some grandiose public buildings and then collects itself into a Haussman-style avenue of designer shops. The road eventually ends at a famous church called, "La Madeleine".

Majerle rarely poops when I walk him. He usually saves that for his walks with my wife (I think it has something to do with comfort). The incident happened around 9:00 am so the street was busy with people going to work and carrying on with their business. It was the type of foot traffic that required some foresight and footwork. Somewhere between a Louis Vitton store and an artisan patisserie Majerle stopped and went into position. If you have a dog you know that there is no way to make this kind of thing look discrete. He looked like a tiny, NFL fullback before the snap.

The dog weighs about 38 pounds but he has developed a voracious appetite since we have moved to Paris. He had been making some deposits on our street that probably led our neighbors to think that a zebra was inhabiting the area. He couldn't have picked a worse spot than Rue Royale. Its a pretty ritzy neighborhood. I was getting some disturbed looks from the people sidestepping us so I finally cut him off mid-shiver but the damage was done. While I felt great shame as I squatted to pick up my dog's crap off the street, I believe Majerle had something quite different on his mind.

This was nothing short of a power play for him. He was making a statement. It's kind of like taking off your shirt to show you ink during your first day in prison. He had reason to be confident. He has strong German heritage (Rottweiler/German Shepherd) which sent a not-so-subtle message. The occupation of Paris by Germans is still fresh in people's minds. You see dogs are territorial by nature. My dog was new in town and was simply claiming that small square as his own. The rest of the walk home I felt like he was walking me.